When Jesus was resurrected, He appeared before many people several times such as Peter, the disciples, and 500 people. But when He appeared the first time before a woman, not before men. Is there any reason? Some theologians made a joke that because most women are more talkative than men, Jesus used a woman who could spread out the words faster to the world that Jesus was resurrected.
Last week, I mentioned men’s brain and women’s brain are different in function. And today here are seven things God says women want from men.
Women want a man to love them completely, passionately, and romantically
Eph 5:25 commands every husband, “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” In short, be a passionate and devoted lover. Women are sick and tired of domestic Hitlers who try to dominate them for their own purposes. They are tired of macho men who rule with an iron fist and have to be right all the time. They are weary with men who show little affection until they want sex. Women are tired of men who offer little compassion or communication and act like a warden and treat everyone in the house like prisoners. No one can live with that macho monster.
What do women want? Women are tired of spiritually weak, milquetoast husbands who refuse to lead the family spiritually. They want a husband who will provide for the family financially, protects them emotionally, and leads them spiritually. Women do not want a playboy husband. If your husband has refused to change his adulterous ways, for your safety and the safety of your children, terminate that marriage.
Women want nonsexual affection
When a wife says “Come and hold me” to her husband, he rubs his hands together as his testosterone meter explodes and responds, “All right...” He is ready for raw sex. She simply wants affection. Almost all women agree, “It’s really no big deal if I never have sex again with my husband, but it would be a big deal if we never touched or kissed or romanced again.” That’s nonsexual affection.
But to men, what if you could never have sex with your wife again? Men’s eyes will bulge, nostrils will flare, and sweat will begin to drop off their forehead. Men will shout, “Give up sex? No in my lifetime!” To ask a man to give up sex is like asking him to give up eating and breathing. Why is there this huge difference between men and women? This is a very sensitive issue. God placed in a man’s body an atomic bomb called testosterone. It fires him up sexually, and it doesn’t take much to set him ablaze. It takes very little, as a matter of fact.
To give wives better perspective on this issue, imagine this. You have just been informed by mail that you have won the grand prize in a national contest. You and your husband will be taken to a tropical island for ten days of first-class service at a five-star hotel. You will be given twenty-five thousand dollars for spending money. You will be furnished unlimited usage of a luxury limousine. You will be taken by private jet to and from the resort. You will have maids, chefs, and butlers. This will be the most thrilling ten days your mind can imagine.
As a wife, you can’t wait for your husband to walk through the door, so you can tell him the good news. Now imagine that when he comes through the door, you greet him by saying, “I have wonderful news. We have just won a grand prize.” He responds, “Not now, dear. I am tired, and I have a headache-we will talk about it later.” Here is the point: A man’s testosterone level makes him feel like he has won the grand prize almost every day. He can’t wait to tell you about it. When you show disinterest, his frustration factor runs off the page. You drift off to a dreamy sleep on your side of the bed while he has chewing the corner of the pillowcase and clawing the paint off the wall.
Women want a man who can truly understand that women are divinely different
In the movie MY Fair Lady, Professor Henry Higgins took on the unenviable task of trying to transform Eliza Doolittle, a commoner, into a sophisticated socialite in London. After weeks of extreme effort to correct her diction and the manner in which she walked and greeted people, he yelled in exasperation, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?”
A woman cannot be like a man, and a man cannot be like a woman, because each is divinely different from the other-and that fact will never change. God created man and woman that way, and the sooner you adjust to and accept it.
Women want open communication
If you don’t know how to listen, you don’t know how to communicate. If you always have to give your opinion, you don’t know how to communicate. If you always raise your voice to make your point, you don’t know how to communicate. If you don’t let the other person speak, you don’t know how to communicate. If you must always have the last word, you are not a communicator. If you speak to another adult in the same way you speak to a small child, you don’t know how to communicate.
Has your wife ever misunderstood you? Have you ever told your wife something as clearly as you can speak, and she got it wrong...all wrong? We have developed technology that permits men on earth to talk to people on the moon, yet husbands often can’t talk openly with their wives across the breakfast table. Why?
What is communication? Communication is an exchange of feelings or information. Communication is giving your wife the freedom to disagree with you completely without you flying into a rage or pouting or sulking for a week. Communication happens when you, as husband and wife, can honestly tell each other who you are, what you think, how you feel, what you love, what you honor, what you esteem, what you hate, and what you fear, desire, hope for, believe in, and are committed to without fear of a prolonged argument. You’ve got to improve on your own communication techniques with your wife.
Women want emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy includes touching, caressing, hugging, kissing, and romancing. There are approximately five million touch receptors in the human body. More than two million receptors are in the hands alone. The right hand of touch releases a pleasing and healing flow of chemicals in the bodies of both the toucher and the touched. Studies have shown that even the tender touch of a pet dog or cat can cause people to get healthier. Everyone wins when we touch each other in the proper way.
I believe it is beneficial for every person to receive affection from another person through touch. Without the emotional intimacy of touch, and warm personal communication, sex with your wife is little more than domestic rape.
Women want spiritual intimacy
As husband and wife, pray together, and for each other, every day. A man and a woman talking to God, bound together in prayer, is an unbreakable union. Do you know how hard it is to pray for someone when you are mad at that person? It’s impossible. Try it; you will like it.
Women want mutual submission
In Eph 5:21, Paul says this: “...submitting to one another in the fear of God.” Here are some ways to improve sexual intimacy. First, Be romantic. I know a man who didn’t kiss his wife for ten years, and then shot somebody who did. Men, you know what your wife likes-do it. That’s what the Bible means when it says, “Dwell with your wife with understanding” (1Pet 3:7). For some women, being romantic means buying her flowers. For others, it means sending carefully chosen greeting cards. For others, it means scheduling regular date nights. For others, romance is as simple as sharing the work around the house. But whatever spells romance for your wife, all women respond to romance and want more of it.
Second, Make yourself physically attractive. In one counseling session, a man expressed irritation because of his wife’s cool responses to his invitations for physical affection. When the counselor quizzed his wife, it turned out that “John Wayne” was coming into the house sweaty, dirty, smelly, and unkempt, looking for instant romance.
Third, There is sexual intimacy when there is reverence for each other. Paul wrote, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph 5:33). “Respect” means to “stand in awe.” Men, would you like for your wife to follow you around the house saying, “Awe?” Then love her as Christ loved the church. Give her nonsexual affection. Understand her differences without trying to change her. Give her open communication. Give her emotional and spiritual intimacy. Respect her, honor, and provide for her. Love her as your own flesh. You are one flesh, and God sees both of you or neither of you. This is the mystery of marriage.